I never thought I'd be writing a love letter to a bidet, but here we are... This magical contraption has turned my bathroom into a cozy spa retreat. The seat warmer is like a toasty hug for your behind, and the heated water feels like a warm sponge bath from a very considerate robot. The self-cleaning nozzle is a game changer! No more weird acrobatics trying to scrub the un-scrubbable. And can we talk about the large wireless remote?! It's like I'm piloting a spaceship to the cleanest region of the universe. I don't know why bidet remotes need to be so large, but I'm not complaining! It's the TV remote I never knew I needed for my bathroom adventures.... (wait...TV... in my bathroom?! I would have never considered it before, but now that I enjoy sitting on the throne so much I think that would be a wonderful addition!) Now let me brag for a moment - I managed to install this technological marvel in about 20 minutes from unboxing to first squirt. I'm no plumber, but the instructions were so clear that even my goldfish could probably have done it. All the necessary parts were included, and it turns out, I must have a secret talent for bidet assembly/installation. In conclusion, my bathroom is now a high-tech sanctuary, and I am the reining bidet champion of my household. Bow down to the throne of cleanliness!